Miguel’s Epic Leg Drop: Proof that He’s an Alien???

In the split second it took for me to realize that the girls who Miguel accidentally jumped on were okay, I dissolved into giggles.  It’s a reflex.  I feel so bad and I’m so glad they are okay.  But, honestly, I think this is proof-positive that Miguel’s an alien.  I think he miscalculated gravity on our planet for a moment.  Yeah, that’s it…he just forgot which planet he was on.

1.  Miguel, you ain’t Prince.  Prince is somewhere laughing his size 0 behind off.  He’s said again and again that performers today need to stop trying to be like him.  See what happens– your nads land on someone’s head.  We all know Prince is an alien.  Prince might be like Michael Jordan in Miguel’s galaxy?

2.  Did he really have on 4-inch boots?  Those will be exhibit A in the civil trial that is sure to follow.  Those ain’t anti-gravity boots, homie.  Those are Rick James boots, best for crushing dirt into a couch.  Dude is like 5’2; what did he expect to happen?  Seriously, them joints looked like the heel was reinforced steel.

3.  There are some bright sides in all this:  Miguel definitely wasn’t lip-syncing, the girl who took the brunt was okay and she seemed really happy to meet Miguel.  Well, she probably didn’t want to meet his crotch first…but yeah.  That’s probably a mating ritual where Miguel’s from…

4.  From now on, when Miguel starts to do the crazy shimmy dance, people will know to duck like they are at a Gallagher show.  Was that little dance his species’ way of gathering energy from the universe to power such a jump?

5.  I got a little weak inside at the old chick who bent down to help the girl until Miguel grabbed her.  She tossed her away like a dead fish!  I immediately heard TLC’s “What About Your Friends” playing.  I guess the girl code ain’t what it used to be.  Why was she in the mosh pit anyway?  Hm, maybe this is a broader conspiracy?

All jokes aside, Miguel is an excellent performer and I hope he doesn’t end up having to work a second job at Burger King to pay for that girl’s long term care bills.

Miguel, Nanoo-Nanoo and sh*t, if you see this.  Try a little harder to blend in next time.

Supporting Black-Oriented Science Fiction

I just wanted to share the trailer for a black-oriented science fiction story called “The Abandon”.  It’s a trailer, so the plot isn’t fully fleshed out, but it is packed with so much interesting dialogue that I’m already engaged with the characters.  I want to see more!

What I loved most about it was that Keith Josef Adkins, the writer/director, thanked the Adkins Family Reunion in the credits.  Now, that’s how we’re supposed to support one another.  If his family is anything like my family, someone probably said, “Here comes Keith with another one of his crazy ideas,”  but they supported him anyway.  That’s what I’m talking ’bout.  Take a gander:

Reasons Why You Need to Go See Star Trek Into Darkness, Even if You’re Not a Trekkie

So, the numbers are in on “Star Trek Into Darkness” and they aren’t as good as the opening for Iron Man 3.  Come on, y’all.  Was I the only one who saw the dreck that was Iron Man 3?  It was like cold pizza; in fact, it was like cold, 10 for $10 pizza.  And, Iron Man didn’t even do half of the upfront trailers and promotion that Star Trek did!  Iron Man couldn’t have been more accessible to the masses than this Star Trek.  Maybe, it was because people love Robert Downey, Jr?  But, let’s face it; for all my critique of “Star Trek Into Darkness,” it was still a muuuuuuuch better movie.

Did Paramount get it wrong by doing all these sneak previews and opening internationally first?  I think so.  The international opening is less of an issue than the sneak previews.  It seemed like people were seeing the movie a week before it opened and I think that made people forget what weekend it actually opened.  After seeing all these reviews pop up, I had to check to see whether I had missed the opening.  Yes, ME, Captain Jackson.  So, you know if I almost missed it, people who didn’t care definitely missed it.  I think the studio also screwed up on basic playground psychology– people like to be first and, if they can’t be first, they lose interest.  After seeing all these reviews and feeling like they weren’t in the in-crowd, a lot of people who were looking forward to the movie probably said, “Eh, I’ll get around to it.”

We can’t discount the fact that, despite having the same rating, Iron Man seems like a much more family friendly movie.  Do you want to have to explain death to your children after seeing Star Trek or do you want to explain all of Tony Stark’s sexual innuendos to the kiddos?  Toss up.  I hadn’t thought about it, but does anyone actually die in Iron Man?  The reboot of Star Trek didn’t have to be like this, but I guess that was a calculated decision by the studio.  I wonder if they regret it a bit now.  Here’s why you have to see Star Trek anyway:

Nerds lose.  And, we have to win.  Arguably, Tony Stark is one of the smartest people alive, but his persona is much about self-interest, bling, and glitz.  He doesn’t really know how to work in a team.  Even though he has renounced his ‘lord of war’ ways, he still has all the treasure that came from that life.  Star Trek is about teamwork.  The team is ordinary, not of any extraordinary superpower or superintellect; they work harder.  That’s the secret sauce in the Star Trek Universe and real life.

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The Onion Review of Star Trek Into Darkness

Ok, read my review below and, then, watch this video.  Black Trekkie has a good sense of humor and I totally resemble the Onion’s remarks.

http://v.theonion.com/onionmedia/videos/videometa/206/zen_webm.webm

Spoiler kinda, but you’ll want to know.

I have been debating whether to share this or not, but I decided to go ahead and put this out there.

*If you have seen the trailers, you have basically seen “Into Darkness”.*

I was actually pretty shocked by this when I saw the entire movie.  I wish they hadn’t shown quite so much and they weren’t as much trailers as they were entire snips of the movie.

I’m listing them below, BUT, if you haven’t seen a trailer for a few weeks, then don’t watch them before going to see the movie.  Ok?

Spoiler-Free Star Trek Into Darkness Review: I came, I saw, I conquered

Truth is, Captain Jackson is getting a little long in the tooth.  Yes, kiddos, I can’t hang for the midnight shows anymore.  The last midnight show I went to see was the Avengers and I was drrraaaaaaaaaagggggin’ (onomatopoeia, I’ve been dying to use that word).  So, I posed this question to my fellow Geek friend; we’ll call her Java since she’s in the Trekness Protection Program.  The convo went like this:

Captain:  Should I go to the midnight showing of Star Trek?
Java:  I don’t know.
Captain:  I can’t hang like I used to, but I want to be around real fans and they go to the midnight show.
Java:  Well, I’ve met this new guy and we’re going out of town this weekend.  I have two passes to a screening tonight.
Captain:  That’s great about the new guy!  Are you saying you’re not going to the screening?
Java:  Yes, I’m not.  I’ve got to start getting ready for this trip.  Do you want them?
Captain:  Hell yes (read:  whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis)
Java:  Ok. Here’s the code.
Captain:  I just called to say I love you!

Now, as you can see, there were a few problems with this conversation.  We were halfway in before she mentioned having passes.  lol.  But, she came through and I was so stoked to go!  Thanks, Java!

So, on to the movie.  I counted 18 black people and lots of other people of color (and a bunch of aliens)!  Good job, J.J.!  Not many speaking roles, but much better than the last movie and loads better than the previous movies.

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Playground moment: Gather ‘Round!

You remember back in the day when we were young (I’m not a kid anymore, but some days…), ubiquitously, you remember a scene where everyone gathered around the kid with something cool to show off.  It might have been the new Jordans, a turtle, a cast, a nudie mag, or the latest New Kids on the Block cassette tape; who knows, but it was always the same scene.  Well, gather round me today on our virtual playground because:

Spongebob

This is my reaction!

Excited-Louise-Bobs-Burgers

I’ll post my review of the movie tomorrow!

Captain’s Log: Wayment, how did I not see this coming?!?

How did I never think of this? So, the latest rumor about Benedict Cumberbatch’s John Harrison is that he is actually Khaaaaaan! But, reading some of the reviews coming out, I am starting to think that he might actually be a Klingon augment!

If you’ll remember the DS9 send-up to the Original Series, Trials and Tribble-ations, Worf was asked why Klingons in the Original Series didn’t have cranial ridges. He said they did not speak of it with outsiders. So, maybe, John Harrison is the beginning of the enmity between Klingons and the Federation?

I’m not big time enough to get special screening tickets, but we will know if a few days! Can’t wait!

EDIT: Well, that was fast. I just checked the IMDB page for the film. John Harrison is playing my favorite villain!

Happy First Contact Day!

See, I need to up my Trek level. I totally didn’t realize it was First Contact Day!

Holodeck3

50 years today, Vulcan’s will make first contact with humanity. April 5th 2063 is when Zefram Cochrane will make his first warp flight in his ship the Phoenix. when a Vulcan survey ship, the T’Plana-Hath, detects his warp signature. The Vulcan’s alter course and head for Bozeman, central Montana, where they meet with the Phoenix’s designer and pilot, Zefram Cochrane.

“Don’t try to be a great man…just be a man. And let history make it’s own judgments.” –  Zefram Cochrane

This would be the start of a whole new era for humanity, eventually paving the way for a unified world government and, later the birth of the United Federation of Planets.

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