This is old, but it is so perfect that I had to share.
All Trekkies who watched the Borg Queen’s torment/seduction of Data in First Contact will appreciate this.
To jog your memory (from IMDB):
[a Borg scratches Data’s flesh arm]
Lieutenant Commander Data: Ah!
Borg Queen: Is it becoming clear to you yet? Look at yourself, standing there, cradling the new flesh I’ve given you. If it means nothing to you, why protect it?
Lieutenant Commander Data: I… I am simply imitating the behavior of humans.
Borg Queen: You’re becoming more human all the time, Data; now you’re learning how to lie.
Lieutenant Commander Data: My programming was not designed to process these sensations.
Borg Queen: Then tear the skin from your limb as you would a defective circuit.
Borg Queen: Go ahead, Data! We won’t stop you!
[Data forces himself to try to tear off the skin]
Borg Queen: Do it! Don’t be tempted by flesh!
[Data relents and leaves the skin alone]
Borg Queen: Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure?
Lieutenant Commander Data: If you are referring to sexuality, I am… fully functional, programmed in… multiple techniques.
Borg Queen: How long since you’ve used them?
Lieutenant Commander Data: Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two…
Borg Queen: Far too long.
[they kiss passionately]
P.S. I still have no understanding of the Gotye video concept. Why was he painted like that?
A Dirge for the Star Trek: Las Vegas Experience
The first time I went to Las Vegas, there was one place I knew I had to go. That place where everyone’s at least a passing Trekkie. Well, alas, it is no more. The Las Vegas Hilton got rid of it years ago, but I still miss it. I guess that it wasn’t bringing in the big bucks like its Elvis impersonator. Yes, these grapes are sour.
If you’ve never been, I’ll paint the scene from memory: You walk in and get in line and see a few prop exhibits and a Trek timeline. But, the real fun starts when you get into the interactive Borg invasion. The Borg Queen tops my list of villians because of her detached ruthlessness. She was a bad mamajamma! The simulation was dated, but I didn’t care because it was the closest I’d ever get to being on a starship. Then, after you won, you could go into the Enterprise simulation and sit on,the Bridge and play an officer. Again, it felt more like a science museum exhibit, but it was great for any trekkie. Afterward, you could hang out in Ten Forward, drink some Romulan ale and chop it up with the Klingons wandering around. The highlight for me was being choked by a Klingon female. Then, of course, there was a neat gift shop with pretty good memorabilia.
Vegas felt a little emptier without any sort of Star Trek attraction there. So, here’s to sadness.
FYI: I hear there is a nice convention coming in August. Check it out if you get a chance.
Captain’s Log: The Meaning of the Phrase “Kirk Out”
This might truly be the first truly esoteric black trekkie post ever. I think you had to be Black and born some time between 1975 and 1980 to appreciate the phrase “kirk out”. So, let’s get into it.
Does anyone know how this became a black cultural idiom? I have no idea. The funny thing is when you say it, almost every black person knows exactly what it implies–you went temporarily (read: batsh*t) insane. In most situations, you’ve tried your best to keep your cool, but someone or a situation kept trying your patience and…finally, IT, whatever IT might be, was on! You were done negotiating, trying to be heard, waiting patiently, listening to reason, trying to be empathetic, whatever. You, Bruce Banner, turned into this raging Hulk of a person that not even your momma could calm down:
John: Yo, I was driving today and this mickey flickey cut me off. I couldn’t believe it when he flipped me the bird after I honked at him. Yo, seriously, I almost got out of the car and KIRKED the ****(optional) OUT on that cat! He better be glad I had a meeting because, otherwise, y’all would have been seeing me on the news at 6, yo.
Homie: I’m glad you didn’t, man. Not over something so silly.
Now, we all remember that Captain Kirk said “Kirk, out” whenever he signed off communications. We also know that Captain Kirk was forever going off-script and just flying into rages, but how did this enter the black vernacular? Not sure, but I’m glad it did. It is such a effective, concise way of conveying about 50 curse words at once.
Anyone else have ideas?
Edit: We are still looking for answers in 2021.
Black Trekkies, I’m Looking For You!
We just turned 1 year old! Woot! Hosting the blog has been a fun, creative outlet so far. It turns out that “Black Trekkies” is the top search term that is leading people to find the Black Trekkie blog. I knew we were out there! And, it appears that we are searching for one another. It’s been a fun year and we have bigger and better things planned for the future.
SO…if you happen onto this blog and find it funny and/or interesting, become a guest poster. If you just want to hang, leave a comment and subscribe.
I’d love to have more activity on the blog and offering alternative insights into the Trek would be great. And, please post comments and follow Black Trekkie. Every click gets us a little closer to the Delta Quadrant. Just kidding, it just lessens the distance between us.
We can even have an awesome Gorn/Kirk-style play fight. We’ll figure out what the fight was about later. Keep checking in, I’m looking to hear from you!
Reasons Why You Need to Go See Star Trek Into Darkness, Even if You’re Not a Trekkie
So, the numbers are in on “Star Trek Into Darkness” and they aren’t as good as the opening for Iron Man 3. Come on, y’all. Was I the only one who saw the dreck that was Iron Man 3? It was like cold pizza; in fact, it was like cold, 10 for $10 pizza. And, Iron Man didn’t even do half of the upfront trailers and promotion that Star Trek did! Iron Man couldn’t have been more accessible to the masses than this Star Trek. Maybe, it was because people love Robert Downey, Jr? But, let’s face it; for all my critique of “Star Trek Into Darkness,” it was still a muuuuuuuch better movie.
Did Paramount get it wrong by doing all these sneak previews and opening internationally first? I think so. The international opening is less of an issue than the sneak previews. It seemed like people were seeing the movie a week before it opened and I think that made people forget what weekend it actually opened. After seeing all these reviews pop up, I had to check to see whether I had missed the opening. Yes, ME, Captain Jackson. So, you know if I almost missed it, people who didn’t care definitely missed it. I think the studio also screwed up on basic playground psychology– people like to be first and, if they can’t be first, they lose interest. After seeing all these reviews and feeling like they weren’t in the in-crowd, a lot of people who were looking forward to the movie probably said, “Eh, I’ll get around to it.”
We can’t discount the fact that, despite having the same rating, Iron Man seems like a much more family friendly movie. Do you want to have to explain death to your children after seeing Star Trek or do you want to explain all of Tony Stark’s sexual innuendos to the kiddos? Toss up. I hadn’t thought about it, but does anyone actually die in Iron Man? The reboot of Star Trek didn’t have to be like this, but I guess that was a calculated decision by the studio. I wonder if they regret it a bit now. Here’s why you have to see Star Trek anyway:
Nerds lose. And, we have to win. Arguably, Tony Stark is one of the smartest people alive, but his persona is much about self-interest, bling, and glitz. He doesn’t really know how to work in a team. Even though he has renounced his ‘lord of war’ ways, he still has all the treasure that came from that life. Star Trek is about teamwork. The team is ordinary, not of any extraordinary superpower or superintellect; they work harder. That’s the secret sauce in the Star Trek Universe and real life.
The Onion Review of Star Trek Into Darkness
Ok, read my review below and, then, watch this video. Black Trekkie has a good sense of humor and I totally resemble the Onion’s remarks.
Spoiler kinda, but you’ll want to know.
I have been debating whether to share this or not, but I decided to go ahead and put this out there.
*If you have seen the trailers, you have basically seen “Into Darkness”.*
I was actually pretty shocked by this when I saw the entire movie. I wish they hadn’t shown quite so much and they weren’t as much trailers as they were entire snips of the movie.
I’m listing them below, BUT, if you haven’t seen a trailer for a few weeks, then don’t watch them before going to see the movie. Ok?
Spoiler-Free Star Trek Into Darkness Review: I came, I saw, I conquered
Truth is, Captain Jackson is getting a little long in the tooth. Yes, kiddos, I can’t hang for the midnight shows anymore. The last midnight show I went to see was the Avengers and I was drrraaaaaaaaaagggggin’ (onomatopoeia, I’ve been dying to use that word). So, I posed this question to my fellow Geek friend; we’ll call her Java since she’s in the Trekness Protection Program. The convo went like this:Captain: Should I go to the midnight showing of Star Trek? Java: I don’t know. Captain: I can’t hang like I used to, but I want to be around real fans and they go to the midnight show. Java: Well, I’ve met this new guy and we’re going out of town this weekend. I have two passes to a screening tonight. Captain: That’s great about the new guy! Are you saying you’re not going to the screening? Java: Yes, I’m not. I’ve got to start getting ready for this trip. Do you want them? Captain: Hell yes (read: whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis) Java: Ok. Here’s the code. Captain: I just called to say I love you!
Now, as you can see, there were a few problems with this conversation. We were halfway in before she mentioned having passes. lol. But, she came through and I was so stoked to go! Thanks, Java!
So, on to the movie. I counted 18 black people and lots of other people of color (and a bunch of aliens)! Good job, J.J.! Not many speaking roles, but much better than the last movie and loads better than the previous movies.
Playground moment: Gather ‘Round!
You remember back in the day when we were young (I’m not a kid anymore, but some days…), ubiquitously, you remember a scene where everyone gathered around the kid with something cool to show off. It might have been the new Jordans, a turtle, a cast, a nudie mag, or the latest New Kids on the Block cassette tape; who knows, but it was always the same scene. Well, gather round me today on our virtual playground because:
This is my reaction!
I’ll post my review of the movie tomorrow!